Not Who You Expected?

This article is part of our Fall 2020 print issue. See the full, digital version of the issue here.

Model Caroline French photographed by Carlyn Marinaccio.

For better or worse, society has imposed upon us certain standards. Aspects of our appearance may trigger assumptions that affect how others perceive us. This process of stereotyping is infused in our society and can have lasting repercussions. 

The limiting nature of stereotypes is problematic. Not to mention, they are often misinformed and incorrect. So, what happens when someone doesn’t fit a stereotype? What happens when one’s identity defies what society asserts that it should be?

Rabbi Sandra Lawson, Elon University’s associate chaplain for Jewish life, says people are often surprised to find out she’s a rabbi, likely having made incorrect assumptions about her based on her appearance. 

According to Lawson, the stereotype for a rabbi is a straight male, likely white and of European descent. That definitely doesn’t describe Lawson, a sandal-wearing Black woman who is also a proud lesbian, military veteran, and vegan.

“I don’t know a female rabbi who hasn’t been discriminated against,” says Lawson. “I don’t know a Black rabbi who hasn’t been discriminated against. I don’t know a queer rabbi who hasn’t been discriminated against.”

As someone who doesn’t fit into the stereotypical mold that society has dictated for rabbis,  Lawson has had to overcome several hurdles to get to where she is today. She says she has even been denied jobs because she identifies differently than the stereotypical rabbi. At Elon, she has experienced judgement stemming from how she defies the traditional expectations associated with her role. After all, she says, we live in a racist society.

“We’re products of the society we live in, so people will take their racism and say things like ‘Well, I just want a traditional rabbi.’ Well, what does that mean?” she questions. “There is no other explanation than it being racist or sexist.”

However, Lawson says her positionality has given her perspective. “I do have an awareness of how our society operates over some of my colleagues who never had to experience either racism, sexism, or homophobia,” she says.

Lawson also says marginalization forces people to think differently, which is especially pertinent in the wake of the pandemic as religious landscapes are being redefined. Lawson and others have had to devise new plans for leading congregations, usually meaning a shift to online platforms. She says she feels more prepared for change because of her creative, forward-thinking nature that has resulted from challenges she faced in the past. 

Despite the ways in which societal biases have affected her life and career, Lawson holds out hope that future generations will not be constrained by stereotypes, which will take work, she says.

One of Lawson’s visions for the future is for places of religious worship to replace their artwork with pieces that reflect the diversity of the community. Lawson also suggests telling “fuller stories” that will bring unheard voices and new narratives to the forefront as well as include hard truths about history. In the meantime, Lawson offers students entering the workforce advice on defying stereotypes.

“Keep your eye on the prize. I think if you want something, don’t let somebody tell you that you can’t do it,” Lawson says. “You may not get there right away, but if you set your mind to anything, you can accomplish it. It also may mean that your road may be harder than someone else’s road, but still, it can happen.”

Imam Shane Atkinson, Elon’s associate chaplain for Muslim life, has certaintly kept his eye on the prize. Although some are surprised to find out he is a white American imam—as opposed to being from a predominantly Muslim nation—Atkinson says he has generally been accepted without shock by students, faculty, and staff. 

Atkinson points to the diversity of the American Muslim community, noting that Muslims have unique identities and experiences. He says Black Americans make up the largest portion of Muslims in the United States, which he feels may come as a surprise to some. Atkinson stresses that being Muslim and being American are not mutually exclusive, as some stereotypes might suggest. 

“One time I was at a Middle Eastern grocery store and spoke with a student interviewing Muslims for a report,” says Atkinson. “She asked me, ‘How do you prepare your stuffed grape leaves?’ I told her that I was from Mississippi, so Muslim food to me was fried chicken and cornbread. My wife is from Indonesia, and Muslim food to her is fried rice and noodles.”

Atkinson’s ministry is largely focused on breaking stereotypes like these. Islam, he says, advocates that people judge others based on their character as opposed to demographics, such as race and gender. Atkinson’s platform allows him to teach others about stepping away from biases as well. In fact, Atkinson was featured in the PBS documentary Redneck Muslim, in which he explores ridding Southern culture of white supremacy.

“Growing up as a white man in the South helps me understand and address the fears and stereotypes of small-town North Carolinians,” says Atkinson. “Not only am I a resource on Islam for Elon students, but I also educate the broader community by accepting invitations to speak at churches and nursing homes.”

When faced with harmful prejudices and stereotypes, Atkinson advises students to hold their ground. “Our tradition advises us to take the high road when dealing with people who may view us negatively. We should strive to establish equity in all our interactions,” he says. “Still, we should never compromise our morals and manners in the process of achieving our goals.”

Take the time to consider how prejudice affects you and those who belong to marginalized groups. And remember not to let these restrictive standards hold you back. Lawson and Atkinson certainly don’t. After all, rules are meant to be broken. And stereotypes? They’re meant to be shattered.