Loving Yourself Before Loving Another

You’ve heard the slightly cliche phrase before: “You must love yourself before you can love another.” While the phrase has been said over and over, the message is solid. In college, it can seem like you’re constantly watching happy couples on Instagram, seeing dining hall lunch dates, and welcoming the significant others of your roommates into your apartment. But the happiness of others shouldn’t be a deterrent for your own happiness, because (and here comes the hard truth) you’ll never be happy in a relationship until you’re completely happy with yourself.

So often, we see couples as a complete unit. We hear phrases like “she’s my other half,” and “he completes me.” Something important to keep in mind is that a partner isn’t supposed to suddenly make you whole. You can do that on your own first. Having two “half-people” come together to make a whole isn’t the point. What’s ideal is having two separate and secure individuals come together as a team. If you can’t be happy alone, being dependent on another person will not only be exhausting for both of you but is likely to cause a strain on the relationship.

Here at The Edge, we won’t pretend that we’re relationship experts. But, we do know from experience that being confident in who you are and feeling content being alone are two boxes that should probably be checked before you get into a relationship. Not to sound depressing, but here are the facts. You are the only person in your entire life that will be there for you 100% of the time. Yes, your family and friends love you. But you are the only one that will be with yourself 24 hours a day, seven days a week from birth to death. Relationships and friends may come and go, but it’s YOU who you’re stuck with forever. So why waste time hating yourself? It’s strange to look in the mirror and think that you’re stuck in this b*tch for life. But, in a way, it’s sort of comforting. Nobody knows you the way you do, and nobody ever can. It should be the same with love. You should be able to love yourself regardless of your relationship status. If a relationship ends and the constant stream of love and validation is suddenly gone, what are you left with? If you’re able to love yourself fully, you’ll never be without love. 

It sounds easier said than done, but when you focus on loving yourself and finding that power within you, there’s no way that you won’t be guaranteed happiness. At the end of the day, it’s you who you’re stuck with when you close your eyes at night. Why hate that person when you can give them the love they deserve? Being insecure in yourself and constantly needing validation and reassurance from someone else is one of the most dangerous threats to your happiness. 

Cover photo from Life Coach Directory