Not All Too Well
Whether you're a Taylor Swift fan or not, you’ve probably seen the All Too Well Short Film by now. The film has reached over 40 million views on Youtube in just a week. The film depicts a relationship from start to finish— the good, the bad and the ugly. Just over 14 minutes long, the short film captured the toxicity of a relationship and the significant impact that gaslighting and manipulation have on a person. Much of the conversation surrounding the short film includes people relating to the relationship and sharing their stories. Knowing the signs of an emotionally abusive relationship is essential to raise awareness and not be a bystander.
Gaslighting
“Why are you being so crazy right now?”
“You are so sensitive.”
“You overreact about everything.”
The word gaslighting is used a lot, but what does it actually mean? Gaslighting is a type of manipulation that makes someone question their actions, perception and memory due to the manipulating words of another person. Gaslighting occurs in all different kinds of relationships, but romantic relationships are the most notorious example. The gaslighting manipulation strategy uses words to blame the other person, such as “you are always so sensitive” or “you always overreact,” rather than taking responsibility for their mistakes. Gaslighting is dangerous because it usually begins with small interactions and becomes a slippery slope that can evolve into one person taking the blame for every issue in a relationship.
Controlling Behavior
Another sign of a toxic and emotionally abusive relationship is controlling behavior. This restrive behavior can come in all different forms. Nowadays a lot has to do with social media and phone use. If a person does not allow their partner to post certain pictures or follow people they see as “threatening,” it can be a sign of controlling behavior. Another example of this behavior is needing to constantly be in communication with your partner. Constant communication is not healthy in any form, but having to update the partner of your location every 5 minutes is extremely unhealthy.
Dishonesty and Lack of Trust
Lack of trust is one of the most noticeable signs of an unhealthy relationship. If one person in the relationship is distrustful of their partner without reason, it could be a sign of manipulation. Some examples of this are questioning where you are and why or asking for “proof” of your whereabouts, such as a picture or sharing your location.
If you or someone you know is experiencing a toxic or emotionally abusive relationship it is essential to reach out for help. A toxic relationship will only get worse with time, so if you see something, say something.
The Domestic Abuse Hotline is available by calling 1800-799-SAFE