Netflix’s Coming Out Colton Discusses The Complexities of Suppressing True Sexuality
Former Bachelor and NFL player Colton Underwood is embarking on a new journey to find love; except this time, his final rose will be going to a man. That’s right—Colton has officially come out to the world as gay in his new Netflix docuseries, Coming Out Colton.
The series chronicles the coming-out process of Underwood after he unveiled his sexuality in an April 14th interview on Good Morning America. Though he was met with love and support from his family and close friends, he received unending backlash from outside observers.
Bachelor fans especially criticized Colton for the harm he caused to his ex, Cassie Randolph, while he was still closeted. She even denied the request to appear on his show since she filed a restraining order against him. Throughout the show, we see Colton reckoning with and taking accountability for his mistakes after their relationship ended. He provides context of his mental health crisis at the time, as he stalked Randolph to an unhealthy extent by placing a tracking device underneath her car. He was so ashamed of being gay that his mind convinced him to fight harder for her in order to become ‘straighter.’ His admittance allows viewers to humanize him and hold compassion without minimizing the harm he caused her and her family.
Cassie is currently in a happy, healthy relationship with singer, model and social media personality, Brighton Reinhardt.
Many LGBTQIA+ humans are all too familiar with religious trauma and negative impact from oppressive spiritual environments. In various scenes of the show, Colton comes out to bible study friends, his pastor and a queer-inclusive church. His pastor made him feel unwelcomed, explicitly stating that it’s a ‘sin’ for him to be gay. The show powerfully depicts the need for change, reparations and accountability from religious institutions that cause harm to the queer community. There are beautiful reminders that queer people have an equal opportunity to claim faith and know they are loved, regardless of their sexual orientation.
One of the most difficult steps in the coming-out process is, inarguably, coming out itself. As we see in Colton’s journey, he had to come out not only once, but many, many times, and it didn't get any easier. They show the reckoning with his past, internalized homophobia, various ways he protected his ‘straight identity’ and frustration with lack of representation. It shows that coming out is an experience where so much is lost and gained all at once.
During Colton’s time in NYC, he visits the historic Stonewall Inn. A staff member tells him about the history of Pride, honoring the Black transgender activists at the root of the riots. They acknowledge that Colton’s ability to be publicly out is owed to these activists’ work and courage. The show ends with a montage, honoring those who paved the way for him to be himself. It must be acknowledged that if the coming out process is THIS difficult for a white, cisgender, able-bodied man such as Underwood, it is that much more difficult for members of marginalized communities.
So, for all of those laying in their beds at night trying to, as Colton says throughout the show, ‘pray the gay away,’ remember to be grateful for the public displays many are taking to honor the community. These come in many forms, including queer art, history, activism and storytelling. It’s our hope at The Edge that we continue to see more media that centers queer marginalized voices and dives into the complexity of the LGBTQIA+ community’s experiences in addition to shows that continue to explore accountability in a nuanced way.
If you’d like to share an experience of your own, feel free to DM @theedgemag on Instagram.