How to Make the First Move, as a Woman

Ladies, it’s time to take control of the game. Making the first move can be extremely intimidating, but can also be very fun. Instead of thinking about the millions of ways you could possibly embarrass yourself, treat it as a game. Below are simple tips for taking initiative, for both in-person and online scenarios. 

TIPS FOR AN IN-PERSON ENVIRONMENT   

The first move is the ever simple, but very effective eye contact. Make eye contact with your target, hold it, then flirtatiously smile as you look away. Works every time. Keep looking back at them every once in a while to let them know you are interested.

The second tip is more of an attitude — own the room. If you act like the sexiest thing in the room, others will think the same. Confidence is hot, so instead of waiting for them to come to you, walk over to them first. Do it quickly so there isn’t time to overthink (it sounds scarier than it actually is — trust us). For those who are naturally shy, signal the person to come to you with a head nod or hand motion. 

Start the conversation by describing something you noticed about the person when you first walked in, such as what they are wearing. The convo can be about anything, it doesn’t have to be too bold of a move. Make sure to utilize body language, such as touching their arm during conversation or moving a little bit closer.

Near the end of the conversation give the person your phone so they can type in their contact info. Not only is this a direct move, but it also gives you the control of texting first. Too nervous to text first? Text the person when they are still right next to you immediately after they give you their info, then continue talking.

Photography by: Madison McCart

TIPS FOR AN ONLINE ENVIRONMENT

As if meeting new people wasn’t already hard enough, throw in a world-wide pandemic. The key to initiating a conversation on dating apps like Tinder or Bumble is to grab the person’s attention. A simple “hey” or “what’s up” will simply not do.

An easy fix is addressing them by name. This goes for in-person conversation as well. Spice up the “hello” by adding the person’s name to the end of it. Simple, yet more direct. Another way to grab their attention is by sending them a meme or GIF. This not only breaks the ice but may bring more of a connection if they send one back (if they do this they are elite). 

After swiping right, ask them a question about their profile. Look at their pictures and bio and go from there. If the person has a pic of them and their dog, message them about it. They have a picture at the beach? Same, message them about it. People love talking about themselves, so this move is an easy one.  

Another convo starter is a compliment. Saying something nice still counts as a way to get the convo going and besides, who doesn’t love getting a compliment from a stranger? Spicing up the conversation can also be done by saying something random or silly.

Making the person laugh gets you bonus points, so come up with a couple funny questions or phrases to message them and see what happens. If they don’t have the same sense of humor, move on to the next one sis.  

Now that you have a few tricks up your sleeve, are you more confident in your skills to make the first move the next time around?