Proximity: The Ruler of Relationships

Emotional closeness is most often created by physical closeness. We think that is something pretty comprehensible. What’s often not talked about enough is the ways proximity is unique with college students in determining relationships. Our nomadic lifestyle as a college student has revealed this. From quarantining, to studying abroad and to new apartments all over campus, we have experienced the brunt of what distance does to our relationships. But, changing environments has also helped to develop new relationships. The proximity effect states that people close in a physical environment are more likely to form a relationship than those far away. With that in mind, a relationship that requires more consistent effort can be difficult to continue compared to easily spending time with those surrounding you. The farther you move on campus from friends, the harder it is to maintain those relationships.

It’s no surprise that COVID-19 gave us a newfound perspective when it comes to distance. When we have distance, we lose connection. In a dramatic way, we were trapped, isolated and even ostracized from a normal social life. As a first-year student at Elon living in one of the most chaotic social environments, then months later being forced to pack our bags and move to what can only be described as its opposite, it was a shock to the system. Months and months of isolation have taught us college students that we crave contact, excitement and energy. Something the pandemic took away from a lot of us was the unique connection that proximity in college brings us. Sure, social media finds new ways to connect us every day, but the connection of having best friends next door or down the stairs is unmatched.

Now, as a senior at Elon, I reflect on the connections I’ve made. I’ve realized that after living in spaces all over campus, we prioritize those closest to us. I’ve noticed an especially interesting dynamic between proximity and who we spend the most time with. Of course, those who care to see each other will find ways to connect, but proximity wins every time. We spend the most time with the people closest to us in distance. This is non-negotiable.

As I soon head off into post-grad, something that lingers in my mind is the distance that I soon will have to experience. That's inevitable. And that the distance will be no match for the effort we put into these relationships. I believe in the multitude of ways we can connect. Yet, college provides this unique opportunity to connect with a large group. As I move through this year, I challenge us to be aware of how distance plays a role in our relationships and cherish the time we have closest to some of the people we love most.