What’s the Gossip?

Gossip: it’s an intrinsic part of human communication. It’s how communities get to know each other and spread important information. But, for some reason, it gets a bad rap; people associate gossip with, for lack of a better term, talking shit.
Not only is gossip viewed as bad, but it’s also become “feminine,” although an observational study from 1997 reported that men spent 55% of conversation time and women spent 67% of conversation time essentially gossiping. That really isn’t a huge difference. But framing women to be “snakey” and constantly talking behind each others’ backs has been just another tool in the misogynist’s belt. 

Megan Robbins, an assistant professor of psychology at The University of California, Riverside, says that another way to define gossip is just “talking about people who aren’t present.” Robbins continues to argue that gossip can be positive, negative, or neutral.

Some researchers say that gossip is evolutionary and helped our ancestors survive, as gossiping served as a way of bonding with each other. Gossip is also a way people have learned about cultural norms and how to function in a society, as people learn from each other and what kinds of things get spread around - for example, cheating. Because of this, gossip can become almost like a moral compass for communities, helping keep them in check. 

Of course, shit-talking for shit-talking’s sake isn’t the best thing for anyone’s mental health. Hearing a rumor about yourself can be really hurtful, and spreading one about someone else is just straight up mean. There is a huge difference between going to a friend for advice and venting your frustration about someone else and completely disparaging them out of spite. But more positive forms of gossiping, or “spilling the tea”, can actually be relaxing and informative. It’s especially integral in helping people feel closer to one another and strengthening their relationships, easing feelings of loneliness.

So, gossip doesn’t have to just be a good thing or a bad thing - or a feminine thing. If you find yourself always talking badly about people, it may be time to rethink how you gossip. But otherwise, gossip can just be neutral.