What 2022 has Taught Me
With the year coming to an end I wanted to share with you all what school, friendships, and writing for this magazine have taught me, and what I hope to take with me in 2023.
First of all, friendships are vital to survival and having good friends and being a good friend is the first thing. Communication is key to any healthy relationship and if you can’t learn to communicate your feelings you’re not going to have many lifelong friends in your life. If you’re annoyed with a friend or feeling upset because of another's actions it’s okay to sit them down and hash it out! Your feelings are valid just always try to remember their feelings as well, the words you choose to describe the way they have been making you feel could be hurtful and stick with them, so attempt to use positive language and not try to sound like you’re putting them down. Never compare your friend or friends that you’re talking to to other friends you have.
Comparison kills and everyone brings something different to the table, whether it’s something good or can be hurtful everyone processes emotions and reacts to chaos differently, you cannot expect every person you encounter to react to emotions the same way you do or other friends you have in your life. A great example of this is not everyone is as sensitive or compassionate. A lot of people in your life may tell you their truth straight up and others will glide over it with more of a soft touch, the only thing you can control is how you feel and react to it so always try and keep that in mind. Is your friend trying to hurt you? Or are they trying to tell you how it is straight up so you don’t get hurt down the line?
On the topic of friends and relationships, you’re not going to be best friends with everyone you meet or date every guy or girl you talk to so you cannot have high expectations of people, having high expectations early on in any relationship is setting yourself up for more heartbreak in the end. Again, all you can do is control yourself and if you believe someone will do something to hurt you, you cannot control them. Let them do what they want because iF they’ll do whatever they want to do with and without your approval, if they hurt you they were never meant to stay in your life.
Don’t go try looking for closure, you might not get the answer you’re looking for and it’s just going to open a door of more disappointment. If they wanted to they would and if they wanted to give you an explanation or an apology they would have, if they want you in their life they’ll put in the effort. Always, always put yourself and your feelings first, no matter what.
If you ever find yourself alone with your thoughts and you can’t seem to get them out of your mind no matter how many people you’ve talked to about them, write them down! I don’t know what kind of magic it is but it really does something and works for me every time I can’t sleep at night.
Going back to what I said earlier, comparison kills, it kills your personality, pride, and sense of worth. Never try and be someone else because the real you will always come out and you don’t want to be living a lie.
Another thing is it is never, I repeat NEVER embarrassing to be single, to not be talking to someone, to not be hooking up with someone and it’s never embarrassing to not be invited to things. Insecurities are in us all, I have struggled with so many, feeling like I’m not pretty enough, if I looked like them I would be getting invited to their event or being asked out, but it’s not embarrassing. More people find you attractive or interesting than you think they just never say or do anything about it but it’s not going to get better or easier if you’re constantly putting yourself down about it because your time will come.
Speaking on the matter of not saying anything, go for what you want. The worst that will happen is that you get rejected and I’ll be very honest with you right now, you’re going to get rejected so much in your life it’s time you get adjusted and learn to grow from it. Not to say you’re going to get rejected from every opportunity you throw yourself at, but you never know what could happen. It might be embarrassing or hard now but it’s also something that you won’t look back on it 5 years from now and think “what if?..” It’s better to know how someone would have felt then than to keep thinking about the possibilities of it years later with regret.
The last thing, be nice to everyone. Even if they’re mean to you. You never know what that person’s going through or what they could bring to your life. Take on opportunities to get to know someone, go on that date with that guy even if he’s not your type, talk to that girl that looks lonely, include people in things, and never say something that isn’t true about someone behind their back.
I hope everyone who reads this could learn something new or take something with them into the new year and grow from the person they are now to who they’re destined to be. We are all so young and still learning how to navigate life, friendships, relationships and most importantly the relationship with ourselves and who we are, so much is going to change next year and it doesn’t do any good to dwell on the past and stay stuck to who you no longer meant to be.