Five Signs You’re Not Over Them
Heartbreak is (surprise, surprise) one of the hardest emotional battles to conquer. Not only are you experiencing pain, but you're also likely grappling with too many unanswered questions to count.
Why dont they want me?
How can I move on?
When will this pain go away?
Sometimes, it’s easiest to shove all of these emotions down and try to carry on despite the pain in our hearts. But, pretending you’re over something when you’re not is a surefire way to guarantee you’ll never really get over them.
Here are some signs that you’re not as “fine” as you may claim to be.
1. You check to see if they’ve watched your story
Don’t deny it — we’ve all been there. You post a cute or fun picture to your story and then spend the rest of the day obsessively checking if ~they~ viewed it. You might tell yourself that you’re simply scrolling through to see who saw your story, you’re not checking for them in particular! Or, you might have yourself convinced that you only want them to watch your story so they can see how great you’re doing without them. But, we know the truth. You’re probably not really over them if you still care about their perception of your life.
2. Everything reminds you of them
If you two had a special song that was your song, then you’ll obviously think of them when it comes on. But, if you're finding that even the littlest thing reminds you of them, then you probably haven’t moved on. For example, a St. Patrick’s Day shirt shouldn’t leave you thinking about how they’re half Irish.
3. You can’t get rid of things they gave you
If it’s something like a coffee maker, then fine — keep that. But, you wouldn’t be keeping old movie ticket stubs, stuffed animals or love notes. These aren’t things that you need to keep looking at every day, and having them around keeps you grounded in a relationship that is gone.
4. You constantly bring them up
Remember, the opposite of love isn’t hate — it’s indifference. That’s where you should strive to be. If you find yourself bringing them up all the time, even if it’s to rant about how much you hate them, then you probably are still attached. Your goal should be to get to a point where the thought of them doesn’t bring up emotions of any type. We don’t want them living in your mind.
5. You try to run into them
If you were really over them, then you would be living your daily life as normal. Going to certain places where you know they might be or taking specific routes that increase your chances of running into them are both signs that you have lingering feelings. It’s normal to want to see this person, but don’t claim to be over them if you do!
Breakups are so hard. It’s completely normal to need days, weeks, months or even years to get completely over someone. There’s no shame in still being attached to someone even after the breakup, and there’s no need to rush the healing process by pretending that you don’t care. If you’re looking for healthy ways to help you move on, check out our article “Surviving Heartbreak 101.”