Learning to Let Go
Letting go of a relationship, platonic or romantic, is a strenuous process. It’s common to go through different emotional stages when navigating the loss of someone you wish stayed for more time. These stages can include denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Yet, it is important to acknowledge each of these stages as natural in order for our hearts to heal.
When you experience some of your happiest moments and dedicate years of energy to creating a bond with someone, this person somehow becomes part of you along the way. We might not even realize it at the moment, but our mannerisms or small things we spot during our day may remind us of how we were affected by the time they were in our life. That is why when your time together ends, you are not only grieving the relationship, but you are also left grieving a part of yourself. Letting go of people, situations and feelings does not mean physically loosening your grip on something or someone. It means decluttering your mind, divesting your time and spiritually detaching yourself. Instead of continuously fighting for something, let go of what has already left you to prioritize happiness and health. It is easier said than done, but reaching a point when you feel at peace comes with the tribulations of pain.
It is in our nature to fight for people that we deeply care for. This may leave us aching for the past and holding onto the feeling of betrayal we felt when treated carelessly. However, a hard pill to swallow is the fact that holding onto someone who is no longer good for us will bring us down in the long run. By focusing on the past, we are prevented from placing our attention on what we have now and the opportunities the future holds for us. That’s why we at The Edge are going to talk about letting go of anger, sadness, nostalgia and love.
One of the hardest things to work through is letting go of the past. Longing for someone we used to be best friends with, a romantic partner who left without warning or even a family member we have drifted away from is normal. However, don’t look back at the relationship with negativity because this can lead to bottled up anger. There are ups and downs within every relationship, and it’s okay to look back at something as a lesson instead of a waste of time. You opened yourself to beautiful memories and truthfully this person was more than someone passing by — it’s okay to accept that. It’s okay to know that sometimes good things come to an end, whether or not the end was brutal. Remember that at the end of the day, you know that love is real because you are capable of giving so much of it to others around you.
Another thing that one may struggle with is letting go of the future. When we grow close to a person, it is common to create plans for the future; therefore, we have to work through letting go of an idea of what we thought our future would look like. Maybe there were plans with a best friend to move in together after graduation, but the friendship drifted apart and plans fell through the cracks. Or, maybe you spoke about what the future would look like with your significant other by your side. Don’t focus on the “what ifs” and try to work towards creating a future in which you are the center of it. The simple truth is that the future is unpredictable. Yes, it could have been amazing, but it could have also been the opposite of what you hoped for. Accepting what you don’t know will assist in feeling that you are free to strive towards anything the world now offers you.
Letting go is not a linear process. Without a doubt, there will be days when life feels dysfunctional and confusing. However, remind yourself that it is okay to let go not only of the past but the future as well. Cultivate friendships and relationships that push you forward and make you feel seen. If they leave, let them go. If they leave, leave every part behind, except yourself. Take time to heal and recognize the growth you gained from the relationship; therefore, you can accept yourself and what’s to come.