Taylor Swift and Joe Alywn Broke Up. This is Why You’re Sad About It, Too.
On April 8, 2023, Entertainment Tonight first broke the news that singer Taylor Swift and her actor boyfriend of six years, Joe Alwyn, had split. The announcement came as Swift was in the midst of her sold-out “Eras” tour.
Taylor Swift performing in Glendale, Arizona on opening night of her Eras tour | Photo by Kevin Mazur / Getty Images for TAS Rights Management
Despite keeping their relationship private, fans of the singer had become familiar with Alwyn over the course of the relationship. Swift had collaborated with Alwyn on several tracks on her most recent albums and had gushed about her relationship with the actor in several speeches, promotional videos and in her 2020 documentary “Miss Americana.”
Fans reacted to the news in equal parts disbelief and denial. Many had thought that Swift and Alwyn were fated to be together, a narrative Swift reinforced with her “folklore” album track “invisible string.”
Some fans even wondered what Swift’s breakup meant for them.
User @mareubernardino wrote on TikTok, “When you grew up watching her getting her heart broken over and over and you spend years listening to her sing about how mistreated she was so you finally get to watch her find the love of her life…and now that’s over??? How am I supposed to believe that there’s someone out there for me?
User @vmehrad said, “Trying to explain why this breakup feels so personal to me not because its two celebrities call it quits but it means that if Taylor wrote 4 albums full of love letters and knew 100% that she has found the one and he was the end game for six whole years and still got her heart broken after all those previous heartbreaks, I have no chance of finding true like ever.”
But why were fans of the singer so upset about two people they had never met splitting up? The answer: parasocial relationships. These are one-sided relationships with celebrities that cause fans to feel incredibly invested in the stars’ lives or careers. The term was first introduced in a 1956 paper by social scientists Donald Horton and R. Richard Wohl. They observed seeing people develop a relationship with actors appearing on television.
In a recent NPR segment, NPR’s Ayesha Rascoe talks with Professor Kate Kurtin of Cal State Los Angeles about parasocial relationships following Swift’s breakup. They agree that the personal nature of the songs Swift wrote about her relationship with Alwyn is part of why fans are so distraught.
RASCOE: And the thing, though, now, is that with some of those confessional songs that Taylor Swift wrote, she wrote them about a relationship that has now ended, and that seems to be making fans sad.
KURTIN: I love it so much. I love that fans are grieving with her. You know, we all had love songs until the relationship ended, and now those love songs are breakup songs. With a lot of, certainly, young people, Taylor Swift is teaching them how to think about love, and it's feeling very raw for people, and I love that they are communicating about that in a very real way because these relationships are real. They fill the need that we have for interpersonal connection.
The Atlantic argues that parasocial relationships are not necessarily bad for you. In fact, if you’ve ever avidly followed a sports player’s career or watched a movie because it had your favorite actor in it, you probably are engaging in some sort of parasocial relationship with them. In many ways, these emotional connections between fans and the star are essential for the success of a celebrity’s brand.
For example, fan edits and online discourse are common among Taylor Swift fans. In fact, Swift’s team rewards particularly active online fans by inviting them to participate in a secret session listening party where they are among the first to preview Swift’s newest album at the time. Part promotional campaign, part fan service, the secret sessions have participants join Swift in her home to eat homemade cookies, listen to the album and take pictures. And it's not the first time Swift has rewarded fans for their devotion. Fans who buy merch and interact with Ticketmaster’s verified fan portal are the first to be able to buy tickets for her concert tours.
Swift is also currently rerecording her six original albums. Her masters were sold without her permission by Scooter Braun to the private equity company Shamrock Holdings. In order to regain control of her work, Swift has embarked on the ambitious process of rerecording and rereleasing her work. But she’s not doing it alone. On Instagram before her album, “Red (Taylor’s Version),” was re-released, Swift penned a heartfelt message to her followers essentially saying: I could not have done this without you.
Swift is giving her fans ownership over her success. She doesn’t feel like a celebrity here; she feels like a friend. We are all in this together. And fans responded, even going so far as to post detailed instructions on how to only listen to the new Taylor’s Version albums instead of the original on streaming platforms.
Yu-Hao Lee, Ph.D., an associate professor in the College of Journalism and Communications at the University of Florida (UF), said to the University of Florida News, “Taylor Swift is known for leaving Easter eggs in her songs, hints about where she is, etc. Because of this, fans have been trying to piece together the details of her recent relationship (using clues to decipher what has been going on),” Dr. Lee said. “The recent breakup news is just another big event in the collective storytelling about Taylor Swift. Some fans are shocked and have gone back to look for hints about why it happened. Some are in disbelief. It’s almost like fans are engaging in conspiracy theories about the breakup.”
And fans did speculate. TikTok user @alittleskrunkly wondered if all the rumors about Swift’s relationship just served to simply distract from the success of her tour. This is something Swift has brought attention to before, asking her critics why only female artists are so heavily scrutinized for their romantic partners.
However, most of the commentary occurred on TikTok with users reposting clips from Swift’s “Eras” tour performances. Users commented on how Swift was crying during “Champagne Problems,” a song that features a main character turning down an engagement. Users also speculated over why Swift switched her setlist from “invisible string,” a song about Alwyn, to “the 1,” a song about a failed relationship. Fans also made edits featuring all the songs Swift wrote about Alwyn, wondering how a relationship that seemed to be perfect could fall apart. They even went so far as to go on a pilgrimage of sorts to visit Swift’s New York apartment on Cornelia Street, which was featured heavily in a love song to Alwyn on her “Lover” album.
It hasn’t always been an easy ride for Swift. Her success and her relationship with her fans are a result of years of hard work. And Swift is acutely aware of this relationship and the role model she serves to millions. Swift once opened up about her insecurities on her track “Anti-Hero” on the “Midnights” album.
Regarding the song, Swift said, "I struggle a lot with the idea that my life has become unmanageably sized and not to sound too dark, but I struggle with the idea of not feeling like a person. This song is a real guided tour throughout all the things I tend to hate about myself.”
Fans related to her vulnerability. They love her lyricism, her wit and her honesty. Her “Eras” tour is set to be the highest-grossing concert tour of all time. Her most recent album, “Midnights,” made history after selling six million copies in two months. Her two pandemic albums “folklore” and “evermore” brought joy and sincerity during a year filled with unimaginable loss. Her 2017 sexual assault case marked her as one of the Silence Breakers on Time’s Person of Year cover focused on the MeToo movement.
So many people have been inspired by Swift’s public persona — a leader who stands up for what is right, an artist from humble beginnings, a friend who understands you and a woman who is simply trying her best to navigate the world around her.
And so many more have found themselves in Swift’s lyrics, singing along to her in their cars, in their rooms, with their friends and in packed stadium arenas.
So if Swift’s success on her “Eras” tour and with her re-recordings feels like your success, it was because it was engineered to feel that way. Her heartbreak feeling like your heartbreak is a side effect of a decades-long parasocial relationship with the biggest pop star in the world.