Setting Boundaries
Setting healthy boundaries can be difficult, but it is an important part of communication in a relationship. In order to be able to set boundaries it is important to have self-awareness and good communication skills. You have to be conscious of what you want from a relationship or friendship.
If you don’t set boundaries, you’re just letting toxic, never-ending cycles continue. We understand that developing these boundaries might be scary at first, but they are necessary. Setting boundaries ensures what you will and will not tolerate is communicated. It’s a form of self-love as it protects you and your own needs. It’s not selfish to set boundaries.
There are seven types of boundaries, these include the following:
Mental: This is the freedom to have your own thoughts, ideas, values, and opinions.
Physical: This refers to privacy, personal space and your body.
Emotional: This refers to the amount of emotional availability you have for others.
Internal: This is self vs. others. Putting your own needs first.
Conversational: This is when you communicate what topics you feel comfortable and don’t feel comfortable talking about.
Time: How much time you spend with someone or how much time you put into something.
Material: This is how much money you spend on others or giving/lending people things.
Once you figure out what types of boundaries you want to set, you can start setting them. If you are unfamiliar with setting healthy boundaries here are a few tips on how to get started:
Reflect on what you want.
What is it that you want from a relationship or friendship? What kind of things are off-limits on both sides.
Start small.
It can be hard to set boundaries for some, so start small. Start off by setting a few boundaries here and there to test the waters. They can be boundaries such as
Stand by them.
Setting boundaries is simple but standing by those can be difficult.
Boundaries aren’t for others; they’re for you. People around you are going to get triggered when you start setting them because it’s going to make them reflect on how they treat others. Being able to let go of people when they cross your boundaries is important. You don’t need people that are not adding anything to your life, because they are instead taking from you. They are taking your energy.
We’re aware that sometimes setting boundaries isn’t enough. There will always be people who don’t respect them and overstep. In that case, it shows that you don’t need to be around those people. It is completely fine to take a step back from these friendships or relationships to keep your boundaries set. If there are no boundaries set beforehand in friendships or relationships, then your feelings and mental health can be harmed.