Finding Purpose Instead of Feeling FOMO
Unfortunately, we’ve all been there before when we’re laying in bed, watching people’s Snapchat stories, feeling like we’re missing it. Watching everyone be together and having fun while you aren’t there sucks, plain and simple. Whether it be your choice or not, you feel like you’re missing out on a memory in the making. Thanks to social media, the feeling can come around more than expected and more than wanted. And unless we throw our phones away—which I will personally never do—and go off the grid, there’s no way of stopping it from happening. But just because it happens, doesn’t mean it always has to have such a big impact.
FOMO, fear of missing out, is solely based on the fact that you feel you are missing something impactful and most of the time, you aren’t. Not every night at the bar is one to remember, and those who are there probably won’t remember it themselves. So swipe away the notion that at every moment something groundbreaking is happening because nine out of ten times it’s not.
But say something does happen and your friends talk about it the next day and that “oh my gosh why did I miss it” feeling sinks in all over again. You’re listening to their story that you have no way to participate in it, wishing you had said yes last Friday instead of no. But instead of giving in to the feeling, listen to what they did, hear about their good time and choose to be happy for them instead. In this case, you get to choose how you feel and how you perceive the situation. Yes, it sucks you weren’t there but hearing about a fun time your friends had isn’t always a bad thing. They’re your people, so choose to be happy for them and that sucky feeling will stay down.
If you either weren’t invited and everyone else was—rude—or you decided not to go for one reason or another, spend that time on yourself. Those two hours everyone has together, spend on self-care, get work done so you’re more stress-free, call a friend that you haven’t talked to in a while or just rot. Do something that’s going to benefit you because, at the end of the day, the only thing you are guaranteed for the rest of your life is yourself. Might as well make yourself the best version of yourself you can be. And that doesn’t have to be a big thing, start small. Little things like trying a new show you’ve been wanting to try while doing a face mask can kickstart that little oomph you’ve been waiting to have.
Of course, go out with your friends and create memories, but it’s also important to take care of yourself because without doing that first, you can’t have fun doing other things. It can be really hard to find a balance between socials and school and yourself, but you can actively make choices that can help with that balance. Think of it as “girl math” for your well-being. Spend a quality night with yourself on Thursday instead of going out. Take an everything shower, wear your fave pj’s, have food you’ve been craving and go to bed early. This sets you up to have a good Friday and be more prepared to go out and have fun on a Friday night. A positive and a negative equals a positive duh!
Balance is something that takes a while and leaning on others for help is always a good idea. For me, when I was struggling with how to juggle things, I felt a lot better after talking to my friends and learning they felt the same way too. It helped take the pressure off and made me feel less alone. As we grow up and move through college, our priorities shift and preferences change and that is completely normal and TOTALLY okay! Even though it's difficult, leaning into the change can help a lot more than it can hurt.
Starting with making active choices about how you’re going to react to something and understanding things change can go a long way. You are better today than you were yesterday and as a result, tomorrow, you will still be great. Take it one step at a time and make sure you look out for yourself :)