Opening the Closet Doors

This article is part of our Fall 2020 print issue. See the full, digital version of the issue here.

Model Bayley Weinstein photographed by Gabby Dunlevy.

“I was 17 when I came out to my friend, who eventually became my girlfriend,” says Ailene Woznicki, junior at Elon University and student assistant at the Gender and LGBTQIA Center.

“I believe that no one should have to come out. People should just be able to love who they love, and it is no one else's business. You should not have to label yourself in order to justify your feelings, and it’s a bummer we live in a world like that.”

The process of coming out, formally defined as the debut to society of one’s sexual orientation, is more so about coming into one’s identity. Over the years, the term “coming out” has continued to adopt a more positive connotation, as it implies a self-discovery journey away from repression toward acceptance, celebration, and liberation.

“I also understand coming out is a really important thing for a lot of other people. It’s not just a journey of telling others but a journey of self-discovery,” says Woznicki. “Coming out was never super hard for me except to very specific people. For the most part, I felt loved and accepted. Nothing has changed, which was my biggest concern. My coming out experience is a really positive one, and I am glad that I have people in my life who are supportive and not ignorant.”

It’s important to keep in mind that each person’s experience may look completely different than the next. Some come out at a young age, while others will go their whole lives without coming out. Some tell everyone they know, and some only share it with a select few.

Bayley Weinstein, senior at Elon, shares a similarly positive experience to Woznicki. “When I came out to my friends, I wasn’t really nervous because I was so ready to get it out in the open,” she says. “I was excited to finally tell them and never feared they would react poorly.”

Weinstein says her journey allowed her to experience the transition to openness. “It was hard for me because a lot of my friends would make remarks such as ‘Any new boys?’ or ‘Are you talking to any guys?’ And I became frustrated and wanted to put everything out there,” she says. “I soon realized if I didn’t want them to talk about me being with boys, I had to tell them I wasn’t interested in them. I’ve told different friends at different times, but all of them have been extremely excited for me. None of my friends have been judgmental or unaccepting.”

Fortunately, the stigma surrounding sexual orientation in our heteronormative culture has been on the decline for years. The legalization of homosexual marriage, along with the acceptance of the ever-growing LGBTQ+ community, has paved the way for younger generations to be met with not only respect but celebration when coming out.

Younger generations have also benefited from the growth of social media, as it provides numerous platforms to address family, friends, peers, and sometimes even the general public. One such platform is TikTok, a social media app that has grown in popularity over the past two years and now has more than 800 million active users.

TikTok’s versatile and trendy nature has allowed many to make the often nerve-wracking experience of coming out a little easier. The #comingout hashtag on the app reveals countless videos that have amassed more than 1.3 billion views. TikTok’s popular content styles—comedy skits, dancing, lip-syncing, story times, and more—have all been used as creative ways for users to come out to loved ones (and potentially millions of other users).

This platform specifically allows for memorable and often lighthearted coming out moments because content often relies on music, dancing, and humor. In fact, avid users of TikTok have developed such a shared language of understood metaphors that they can effortlessly communicate in short witty videos. In November, a new coming out trend arose that involved simply sharing a video of yourself cuffing your jeans, a symbol that implies a LBGTQ+ identity.

Coming out will always be a challenge, but social media has given the LGBTQ+ community a door that wasn’t there before. Take ownership of your story. Love who you love, and be proud.