Top 10 Worst First Date Foods
In these days of swiping right and hookups, dates can almost seem like an anachronism. And yet, good first dates live so strongly in our romantic imaginations. Blame it on the omnipresence of rom-com films if you’re cynical, or on that fluttery feeling you get in your belly if you’re a romantic, but there’s just something so awesome about first dates. Personally, we at The Edge love the slightly old-fashioned nature of actually going out on a date. However, we are horrifically humbled when we realize we have something grotesque in our teeth.
Overpowered with embarrassment, it is crucial to spread awareness to “first-daters” worldwide about what not to order on the first date. Drumroll please… Here are the top 10 worst first date foods to order. We at The Edge hope you gorgeous, gorgeous girls take this list into deep and thoughtful consideration. Xoxo, your floss.
Tacos
It is scientifically impossible to look attractive while eating a taco. The same can be said for basically any other Mexican food that requires you to pick it up. Let’s avoid this one at all costs.
Spaghetti
It is inevitable that at some point you will have to resort to the eating technique of slurping, which will just remind your date of when Michelle Tanner ate her way through little Italy in “Full House.” Word to the wise, "Lady and the Trampin' it" is a myth. The last thing you want to do is put your date in the marinara splash zone.
Corn on the cob
Just no. Don't eat corn on the cob in the missionary position, don't eat corn on the cob standing up, just don't eat corn on the cob. OK, promise? It'll get stuck in your teeth and leave you panicking for the nearest toothbrush.
Everything bagel
Seeds - need I say more? Should I go on? No, I didn't think so.
Ribs/wings
When the waiter offers you complimentary extra napkins, it should be an immediate red flag. Any food that requires you to use enough napkins to destroy a national park forest is a no-go.
Hot dogs
This gives your date the wrong impression. You want to leave certain things a mystery, if you know what we mean. Be the bigger person and stay classy.
Anything with garlic and onions
Avoid garlic and onions like the plague. If you're trying to go home with your date later, you won't because of your pungent breath. Even gum can't help you now. That’s just embarrassing.
Salad
The probability of some wild piece of lettuce getting stuck in your teeth is astronomical. Let’s be conscious and stray away from salad all together.
Any vegetables with fiber
Some may find it funny, some may find it disturbing. Being in a constant state of toots will only end up mortifying both you and your date. No one wants to take your stanky ass home after that.
Shellfish
It's difficult to look at someone romantically as you're tearing apart a sea creature with your bare hands. Perhaps, you could order grilled salmon instead. This entrée has all the fish flavors you want, and none of the shell-cracking, sauce-splattering you don't.
Hope you enjoyed this comprehensive list of what not to order on a first date! You are so welcome. We at The Edge will be eagerly awaiting your wedding invitation.