5 Relationship Red Flags You Should Never Ignore

Let’s set the scene- you’re just started talking to someone new, a potential romantic partner perhaps. Things are fresh and exciting. You’re getting attention and validation, and someone actually cares about what’s going on in your life. You’re finding this person absolutely perfect. You’re in the honeymoon phase of the talking stage and they have no flaws in your eyes. If you’re like some of us here at The Edge, you can sometimes be too blinded by the excitement of a new relationship and ignore some pretty big red flags. So, here are some of the biggest relationship red flags that you should never ignore.

1) All their exes are “psycho”

When talking to someone new, your past dating or hook-up history will inevitably come up. If the person you’re talking to brushes off every past partner as “psycho,” “crazy” or any similar buzzwords, you may want to reevaluate. They might have an ex who was completely obsessive and exhibited some strange behavior, but deeming all women or men from their past as psychos? Sounds… unlikely. Is it possible that maybe, just maybe, they’re the problem, not their exes? Chances are, you’ll eventually join the long list of their “crazy” exes.

2) They aren’t nice to waiters

This may seem small, but it’s a huge indicator of their character. How do they treat people who are doing them a service? How do they act towards people that are “below” them? A waiter is someone whose job is to serve you and cater to your dining needs. If they’re disrespectful towards someone who is serving them, how will they treat you while you’re in a relationship? Their attitude will give you an inside look into their sense of entitlement in the world and how they act when they have power. Do you want to be with someone who is rude to someone helping them?

3) They hide you from their friends and the rest of society

If your relationship only consists of hanging out alone in their room and never being seen in public together, that could be a sign that they’re not the person for you. We’re not saying they have to post you every day and invite you to every hangout with their friends, but if you’re several months into the relationship and you’ve never met any of the people they spend the majority of their time with, it may be a good idea to ask why. Are they embarrassed by you? Are they embarrassed by their friends? Do they have no friends? WHY? You don’t even have like their friends that much, but you should at least be introduced to them. If they refuse to take any pictures with you and freak out if their shoulder is in the background of your Snapchat, it’s time to wonder why they’re intent on keeping the two of you a secret.

4) They move too fast too soon

A huge red flag to look out for is moving too quickly. If you’re only been talking for a few weeks and suddenly they’re telling you that you're the only person in the whole world that can make them happy and they’d be lost without you… that’s a red flag. If they begin the relationship by love-bombing you (read B&W writer Olivia Brown’s article for more information about love bombing), then it’s more than likely that you’ll experience the other side of the spectrum in an extreme form as well.

5) They isolate you from family and friends.

This is a big one. Many times, people get stuck in toxic or abusive relationships when they’ve been completely isolated from family, friends and those who care about them. Abusers will isolate their partners from all other people in an attempt to be the only one their partner can go to. If early on you can sense your partner discouraging you from spending time with your friends and family and insisting you ditch or ignore loved ones to hang out with them instead, then watch out.

If you take away anything from this article, let is be this- when someone shows you who they are, believe them. People will show their true character in ways you may not immediately pick up on. Stay safe out there, and keep your wits about you. Be observant; it may just save you from heartbreak or worse.

If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233