Lessons We Can Learn from Drag

This article is part of our Spring 2022 print issue. See the full, digital version of the issue here.

Though drag seems to have just rocketed into mainstream media, it’s an art form that’s existed since ancient times. Drag is a gender-bending art form in which a person dresses in clothing and makeup meant to exaggerate a specific gender identity, usually of the opposite sex.

While drag’s main purpose is performance and entertainment, it’s also used as a form of self-expression and a celebration of LGBTQIA+ pride. A typical drag show will include lip-syncing or dancing, and performers often have elaborate clothing, hair and makeup. Drag has deep roots in Western culture, specifically in the theatre, where women weren’t permitted to perform on stage, so men dressed in drag to play female roles. Drag performers were featured as far back as ancient Greece and carried on through Shakespearean times in the late 16th and 17th centuries.

By the early twentieth century, drag became tied to the marginalized LGBTQIA+ community and was no longer part of mainstream entertainment. Instead, performances became a major aspect of city nightlife, especially in San Francisco, Los Angeles and New York City. Then, after the 1969 Stonewall riots in New York City and through the 1990s, gay culture and pride gathered mainstream attention, and with that, drag became popular again.

We at The Edge had the incredible opportunity to sit down with Kai Arroyo (21), a junior student at Elon University, to ask him about his own experience doing drag. He provided us with key takeaways that many people can learn from, whether they are struggling with their own sexuality or methods of self-expression. Kai is an inspiration not only in the drag community but for anyone in their developing stages of life.

Q: How did you get into drag in the first place? What were the factors that encouraged you to start doing it?

Kai: Growing up, I didn't have a lot of exposure to drag. I didn't really know what a drag queen was. To put things into perspective, I live in California in the suburbs just outside of Los Angeles. It's actually a very conservative area, which you wouldn’t think. The entire county is very conservative and doesn't really talk about being gay, certainly not in public. There are very narrow-minded people, so I try to stay away from my hometown as much as possible.

When I was at the end of my high school career, when I was a junior or senior, my friend showed me RuPaul’s Drag Race for the first time. I said to myself, “Wait, I should do that.” So I went home and bought a lot of makeup online in secret. I started working at it and looking back at the pictures, I looked rough. I stole one of my mom's wigs that she had in her closet and just kind of played around with it for the latter half of my high school experience.

Then, I came to Elon for a tour when I was a senior in high school and saw the drag show— I had never been to a drag show before. I felt like it was an amazing space and I just felt so accepted. I finally felt like I could be who I wanted to be. So, when I got on campus my freshman year, I was like, “I'm going to do that damn drag show.” I got my look together and did my makeup. And again, looking back at pictures, I'm like, “That is rough.” But, I did the damn thing. The crowd just went wild. The energy was so electric and it was so much fun. And that kind of sealed my fate right there.

Q: You mentioned that you were buying makeup in secret. Were your parents accepting of the path you were going down? Did you feel comfortable telling them? Did they know you were gay?

Kai: Yes. I came out to my parents as gay when I was 18. Their reaction was, “Kai, we know.” They were very outwardly supportive— they would never say anything meaningfully harmful to me. There is always this kind of this resistance that makes them a bit uncomfortable, and it makes it hard for me to share some parts of myself with them. They don't really understand it, and they think that it could possibly put me in danger. It's not something I talk about a lot with them. I didn't tell them I did drag until about a year ago.

Q: What have you personally learned from doing drag? What are some of the key takeaways you've gotten from being able to express yourself freely and authentically?

Kai: It definitely has boosted my self-confidence a lot. I was a very quiet and shy kid growing up. Drag kind of let me dig into my more extroverted tendencies to be outgoing and not care about what people might think of me. It also helped me become okay with being a loud voice in the room. Now, I'm not so worried about how what I do is going to affect other people, because that's something I used to worry about a lot. I would overthink everything I said and would try to micromanage how people perceived me, as well as how I was affecting other people. That's just not a good way to run your life.

For someone who's struggling with their sexuality— there are a lot of labels in our [LGBTQIA+] community. We love to tack on things that put us in a certain box. With that comes a lot of roles and expectations that you either put on yourself or the community puts on you, and you're expected to play the part. I just want to say, that is absolute bullsh!t. There is no reason to stick to a certain label and to think that that is the entirety of your identity. You are so much more than a label, and it's okay to not have it all figured out right now. Whether you are 15 years old, 25 years old or 45 years old, it's constantly an ongoing process—figuring out what you like, who you want to be, all of that.

Drag is not just an art form, but a quintessential part of self-exploration and growing up. It teaches you to be proud of the person you are, even if you still have moments of doubt. It teaches you to be okay with straying away from the person you thought you would once be. As Kai said, the most important lesson drag can teach you is to “just be patient with yourself and enjoy the ride.”