Let's Talk About Cheating
Why do people cheat? What does cheating mean? Does it look like an Instagram DM, a hookup, keeping your relationship “private” or staying secretly active on dating apps? There is no single, accepted definition of what constitutes cheating. However, the psychological toll that cheating can have on a relationship is undeniable.
When you’re in a relationship with someone, the idea is to find an emotional companion, a best friend and a trusted partner. You spend a lot of time hanging out with this person, learning their likes and dislikes, anticipating date nights and integrating them into your life. So, no matter what you constitute as cheating, what happens when you’re betrayed in an unthinkable way? Infidelity can strain our perception of love, shatter our trust and threaten our self-esteem. Questions may arise such as, “What did I do wrong?” or “What was I missing?”. We’re here to tell you that you are not the person to blame, and the actions of others are not in our control. The process of dealing with infidelity can be challenging and emotionally draining, but when dealing with infidelity, we at The Edge have some helpful advice.
1. Let yourself feel your emotions.
After getting cheated on, you can feel a variety of emotions from anger and sadness to confusion. No matter what emotion arises, it’s important to acknowledge it. Don’t try to bottle up your feelings. If you’re sad, cry it out. If you’re mad, grab your friends, go on a drive and scream some songs. It’s okay to feel what you are feeling.
2. Find a healthy way to release your emotions.
It is common to turn to unhealthy habits to deal with what’s going on in our heads. However, these unhealthy habits can come back to bite you. There are healthy ways to release and cope with what you’re feeling. If you have some unspoken thoughts, journaling can help you process your emotions. Get some fresh air, go on a hike and discover new ways to rejuvenate. Treat yourself to a coffee. Get your nails done. Rejoice in the self-love you deserve.
3. Surround yourself with friends.
The cliché phrases that talk about placing friends above romantic partners honestly prove to be true at times. Don’t be afraid to reach out to friends or family members for some support. At the end of the day, there is no one who will uplift and love you more than a true best friend. If you want a night in watching sappy movies, your friends will be there to cry with you. If you want to go out and release some stress, your friends will be by your side. The closest people you surround yourself with want what’s best for you, and they will always be there for some extra love.
4. Take some time for yourself.
Normally, we turn to our trusted confidants for advice — no matter the situation. However, don’t let people sway you into doing something your heart isn’t truly interested in. You know yourself and your emotions better than anyone else. Decisions about troubling situations do not come easy; take some time to really think about what you want and how you can benefit from it in a healthy and happy way.
5. Don’t rush into a new relationship.
It’s hard to find someone you feel comfortable being vulnerable with after getting cheated on. Also, you might find it difficult to adjust to a new routine that doesn’t involve spending time with a person anymore. Turning to a rebound for security and confidence might seem like a good idea, but in the end, you might project your feelings onto them. Try to focus on yourself and rebuild your independence. If you do try to jump into the dating pool again, take in each emotion gradually.
These are a few ways to cope with infidelity and possibly move on from it. However, everyone has a different way of coping with their emotions. Remember to do what’s best for you mentally, and don’t let anyone invalidate your process.