Me vs. Me

How do you feel when you think about yourself? When you think about your social standing, personality and character traits, do you look at these parts of yourself with genuine love and appreciation? Our self-perception can be affected by almost anything, from overthinking a question we answered in class to feeling left out from a friend group. As a college student in this generation, it can be easy to let uncertainty and doubt creep into our minds — especially when we rely on social media and validation from others. The consumption of media has perpetuated the constant comparison of our physical appearance, accomplishments and, at times, our current place in life to others. We all deserve to find confidence, peace and happiness within ourselves, yet it is a difficult process that can vary for everyone. 

What is Self-Perception? 

Self-perception is defined as a person’s view of any mental, physical and social traits that constitute the self. In other words, it’s how we view ourselves. Our self-perception influences our behavior not only toward ourselves but also toward others. However, this perception can be distorted at times. We may ask ourselves questions like “Who am I?” and “What do I stand for?” It’s difficult to overcome assessing ourselves negatively. A negative self-perception may derive from painful past experiences, stressful events and other factors that have shaped who we are. However, our self-perception is not permanently fixed; it changes as we grow and learn. The possibility of fostering a healthy, happy image of ourselves is dynamic, but there are ways to reach this.

What Are the Benefits of a Positive Self-Perception?

We are frequently pitted against others from an early age, whether deliberately or unknowingly, and this plays a significant role in either strengthening or shattering our ego. Nobody is flawless, and we are all equally blessed in some manner. Yet, a positive self-perception can affect us emotionally, spiritually and physically. It’s important to note that building a positive self-perception is definitely easier said than done. The benefits of developing ways to work towards cultivating a healthy self-perception go a long way in life. The expectations we have for ourselves go hand-in-hand with how we perceive ourselves. Your self-perception immediately affects your expectations, which in turn affects your chances of success in all facets of your personal and professional life. Through this practice, we can develop courage and confidence, allowing us to positively contribute to our future manifestations. 

The First Step: Acceptance

Throughout our lives, we are faced with obstacles that will affect our character. These obstacles can look like anything from releasing a negative relationship to staying up all night to study for a big test. No matter how little an obstacle may appear, we make decisions in order to face them and move forward. These parts of life can lead to making mistakes, forcing us to face emotions we wish we could have avoided. However, we all make mistakes and must remind ourselves that they do not define us. It is important to accept yourself and recognize the beauty in the uncontrollable. If something doesn’t go the way you planned, the sun goes down and a new day comes along with new opportunities. Acknowledge that we are all human at the end of the day, and we are all navigating how to grow through this life. 

Recognize Your Inner Beauty

Beauty is not solely recognizable from a person’s outward appearance. It is important to recognize the beauty in small things around us. We can find beauty in nature, our family members and our friends who have stuck by our sides. You deserve the same hype you give your friends before a night out, the same support you give others during tough times and the same love you express toward the people who make you happiest. Treat yourself like you treat the people you love. Inner beauty focuses on what you hold inside of you — your values and characteristics. As you care and cultivate your mind and body, your soul blossoms with kindness and compassion. 

Build Positive Relationships

College is a time when you meet people who you know were meant to be in your life. Yet, you also meet people that you wish would have stuck around longer. Relationships, whether they are platonic or romantic, can strongly influence our self-perception. Toxic relationships may leave us wondering why we feel neglected or unappreciated. These types of relationships negatively impact our self-perception by bringing us down, because they make us question our self-worth. By surrounding ourselves with those who shatter our trust and love, we may lose sight of who we are by holding onto what doesn’t help us grow. Although it is difficult to let go of people who are close to you, it is important to recognize the lessons that come with the pain. Strive to surround yourself with people who bring positivity into your life, people who can re-energize you and motivate you to foster healthy relationships. These relationships will challenge you to meet your potential and work toward your goals. In the long run, positive relationships will assist you in gaining the confidence to achieve your dreams and grow into the best version of yourself. 

Practice Gratitude

Gratitude improves your ability to experience joy, enjoy memories, maintain excellent health, overcome challenges and forge close, personal bonds. It is human nature to stress and focus on the bad rather than taking a moment to breathe in the good. We might be so focused on dreading an important meeting on Monday that we forget to enjoy ourselves over the weekend. However, we can practice gratitude after a rush of joy following a random kind gesture or catching up with an old friend. Fortunately, gratitude can be practiced on a daily basis, and the small things in life can end up contributing to an overall positive outlook.

A positive self-perception is not something that can be achieved immediately. It is normal to have days where you want to be alone and are struggling to focus on the good things in life. By taking small steps, you can learn to love yourself and win the inner battle inside of you. Remember this: confidence is a mindset, and you are in control of your self-perception. Choose yourself, love yourself and let go of the me versus me mindset.

Cover Photo by Cameron Leslie