Mothers Consider a Quarantined Mother’s Day
Mother’s Day. A holiday honoring some of the most influential, trailblazing and caring people in the world: mothers. It celebrates the noble act of motherhood and the sacrifices, laughs and memories within it. A mother can be your most committed cheerleader or your biggest critic but fundamentally, she is your first friend, best friend, and forever friend.
She is deserving of recognition for her selfless, hard work teaching, caring, and protecting her children. Mothers are fighters, achievers, and unconditional lovers. And as the great Kate Winslet once said, “It doesn’t matter how old you are or what you do in your life, you never stop needing your mom.”
Considering the timing of Mother's Day and the coronavirus, we thought it might be interesting to talk to a few moms about how Mother's Day will be different this year. Of course, all the traditions and normal activities that families associate with Mother's Day cannot happen. And, as a result, plans will need to be changed.
According to The Crisis Network, “Good or bad, change requires an adjustment of some kind. This takes energy. If the demands are too great, it can drain you and create stress. Unmanaged stress can cause physical and emotional problems.”
We found this statement especially relevant to the upcoming Mother’s Day and coping with change, especially considering the emotional and mental cost on the mothers working in essential positions, like hospitals or at necessary stores, during the pandemic.
It is disappointing to miss out on the quality time and joy of annual celebrations. Even though we received various and individualized responses from mothers, they all shared a mutual disheartenment due to the coronavirus.
Three generations of the Phillips family gather to celebrate their grandparents 70th wedding anniversary. (Photo given by Abbie Phillips)
“Typically, three generations of extended family gather at my brother-in-law’s home where he cooks dinner for the large crowd, so the mothers didn't have to work on ‘their day.’ The grandmother usually receives cards, small gifts, plants and flowers, and enjoys one of her own dessert recipes she made in the past, such as bread pudding. I will miss joining in a large family celebration this year and will have to settle for a card and phone call to the 89-year-old matriarch of five, including my husband. . . just not the same,” said Dawn Phillips, who lives in Fredericksburg, Virginia.
However, these selfless mothers were quick to consider the seriousness of what is happening now and who is most important to think about this situation. Understandably, there will be a level of disappointment regarding the upcoming holiday, but we noticed distinct gratitude from the mothers we spoke to -- gratitude for their children, their memories, and their time altogether.
Mother’s Day is a landmark of tradition, and to some, this year was the landmark end of a period of time.
Abbie Phillips is another mother whose special day will look differently this year, as she has spent about 85% of her Mother’s Day celebrations exhausted after a full week dedicated to daughters’ dance recitals.
Stacie, Adam, Hannah and Noah Jordan together at the beach. (Photo given by Noah Jordan)
“For 17 years, recital weekend was Mother’s Day weekend,” she said. Her daughters’ dance studio’s recital week had nightly dress rehearsals followed by two days of performances, and Phillips was always volunteering to work the snack bar and flower sales. “So, by Mother’s Day I was pretty worn out. This should’ve been Clair’s last recital, so my dance mom career came to a premature end,” she said.
There are creative alternatives that families are inventing to celebrate Mother’s Day. Joanna DeSordi, a mother living in New Jersey, said she might garden with her family instead of her annual dinner plans with friends.
Staci Jordan, another mother, said that she is excited to be at home in California doing anything together with her family. Staci is content with the simple things in life, like sleeping in and having her son Noah, a first-year student at Elon University, spend Mother’s Day at home, which had not been planned before the university’s shift to online instruction back in March.
Sharon Phillips, grandmother to five children who all live nearby in Charleston, South Carolina, said that her daughter normally organizes an evening with all of the nearby family. Instead, this year her grown-up children will be providing her with their company and snacks from 6-feet-away in her driveway.
“What will be most different for me will be that all of my children will be home,” she said. “This makes me happy, but sad at the same time because I know they are only home because life, as we have known it, is completely changed. They are missing their jobs and classes and, most of all, friends.”
Sharon Phillips’ grown-up children, Jud Bushkar, Natalie Estes and Brent Bushkar sitting 6-feet-apart in her driveway. (Photo given by Sharon Phillips)
DeSordi acknowledges the complications and emotionally taxing implications of COVID-19 and Mother’s Day in her own family and others.
“We will celebrate moms but not just our moms, but all those who have risked so much to help fight this virus and those who have passed from it and other causes during this quarantine,” she said.
The flowers, gifts and dinners for Mother’s Day will be missed, but the time and people we spend it with will be missed more. “Those daughters and sons who didn’t get the chance to say goodbye to their moms are who will be on my mind,” DeSordi said, “And then, I will look around me and see how lucky I am to have my children with me and be called ‘mom.’”