Sex positivity is on the rise, and it’s time you hop on the bandwagon
We’re sure you remember those days in health class where you giggled under your breath during the infamous “sex unit.” You know, that time your teacher stood in front of the room talking about STIs and different contraceptive methods. Though it’s an uncomfortable time to recount, there arguably was not enough sexual education in high schools growing up.
Now, as we navigate our way through college, we have to start to learn to get comfortable with the uncomfortable. In college, there are fewer boundaries. No adult supervision. And most importantly, different standards pertaining to sex. There is making out at frat parties, threesomes and the possibility of exploring new relationships, which may come with giving your body to someone else. So, it’s time to embrace that side of ourselves, without feeling shame along with it—and there are some helpful tips to help you get there.
Sexual positivity is far more than unabashed nudity, rowdy orgies and regular STD/STI testing: it’s a way of being that replaces shame with pleasure and judgment with freedom. It’s the idea that people have a space to embody, explore and learn about their sexuality and gender.
TikTok is at the forefront of sex-ed—and we’re absolutely loving it. It’s steering away from just the focus of women and the female orgasm; it’s inclusive of male sexuality as well. From licensed doctors to experienced sex therapists and sexologists, the app is creating a home for positive conversations surrounding sex. There are also several hashtags to be explored, including #FreeTheNipple, #EffYourBeautyStandards, #SexualHealthIsHealth and the most popular, #KinkTok.
Sex positivity, though the word is literally in the definition, does not mean you need to have sex. Sex positivity is about genuinely believing that other people can have sex any way they want with whoever they want, as long as consent is involved. It’s actually possible to be “sex-negative,” and, in fact, if you’re not actively working to become sex-positive, you’re considered sex-negative.
Sex-negativity can come from growing up in a sex-negative culture. There are ways to fix this by steering your thoughts away from the common implicit bias that lies in your unconscious mind. For example, instead of immediately categorizing someone as a “slut” for wearing a crop top, ask yourself, “Why does this make me uncomfortable?” and “What steps do I need to take to stop feeling this way?” Then, take those steps.
Becoming sex-positive requires a lot, but most importantly, it requires patience. It also takes an abundance of time, commitment and bravery. It’s definitely hard work, but it’s worth doing.
You can learn more from some Instagram accounts, such as @sexedwithdbpodcast (she’s also on TikTok @sexedwithdb). This is one of our favorite sex-positive resources out there. It gives you tools to check your sex-negative behavior so that you don’t pass those microaggressions you have towards sex onto others. Some other accounts to add to your feed are @venuscuffs, @bygabriellesmith and @haleyhaseuncensored.
Overall, sex is about self-discovery and fun while also reducing the stigma that comes along with it. It’s important to keep implementing healthy ideas surrounding sex into mainstream pop culture in order to educate and help embrace our own sexual identities. And remember, consent is always non-negotiable.